YOUR QUESTION. A CLEARER NEXT STEP.
How do I get my child to make eye contact?
Build eye contact by inviting rather than forcing it — get face-to-face at your child's level, join their play, and pair your face with things they love so looking towards you brings delight. Never hold or turn the chin; celebrate any brief glance. AbilityScore® is part of Pinnacle’s developmental assessment. Diagnosis, where needed, requires an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.
In this answer 5 sections
Eye contact isn't something you force — it's something you gently invite, by becoming the most interesting, warmest thing in your child's world.
In short
The most reliable way to build eye contact is not to demand it ("look at me!") but to make looking towards your face naturally rewarding — by getting down to your child's level, joining their play, and pairing your face with the things they love. Eye contact develops best inside warm, back-and-forth moments, not as a drill. With playful, patient practice most children look more readily over time — and remember, comfortable looking matters more than constant looking.
Gentle ways to invite eye contact
- Get face-to-face and down low — sit or lie at your child's eye level rather than above them. When your face is in their natural line of sight, looking takes no effort.
- Follow their interest first — join whatever they're already enjoying. Children look towards people who share their world, not people who interrupt it.
- Pair your face with delight — hold a favourite toy, bubble wand or snack near your eyes, so a glance towards you brings something lovely. Let the looking earn the fun, never the other way round.
- Use big, warm expressions — exaggerated smiles, singing, peek-a-boo and tickle-and-pause games make your face worth watching.
- Pause and wait — start a fun activity (blowing bubbles, swinging), then stop and wait expectantly. A natural glance towards you is your cue to continue.
- Never force or hold the chin — turning a child's face towards you teaches discomfort, not connection. Celebrate any glance, however brief.
Go at your child's pace. Some children, especially those who find eye contact overwhelming, connect beautifully through side-by-side play and shared attention — and that is a real and valuable form of connection too.
When a developmental check helps
Reduced eye contact can simply be a child's temperament or stage — but if it comes alongside limited response to their name, little pointing or sharing, delayed words, or reduced back-and-forth play, a developmental check is worth arranging. This isn't about labelling; it's about understanding how your child connects and learns, so support can be shaped early if it's needed.
The Pinnacle way
AbilityScore® is part of Pinnacle’s developmental assessment. Diagnosis, where needed, requires an appropriately qualified healthcare professional — never from an app or checklist. Across 70+ centres in 4 states our therapists help families turn everyday moments into connection. Discover how a developmental profile is built, and how playful speech therapy strengthens the shared attention and communication that natural eye contact grows from.
Trusted sources
CDC developmental milestones guidance on social and communication development; American Academy of Pediatrics parenting guidance (HealthyChildren.org); American Speech-Language-Hearing Association on early social communication.
Next step — Want to understand and strengthen how your child connects? Book a developmental assessment with a Pinnacle clinician.
This is general information, not a diagnosis — individual assessment and diagnosis require an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.
CONNECT THE ANSWER TO YOUR CHILD’S DAY
Something to notice. Something to discuss.
What to notice
Watch whether reduced eye contact comes alongside limited response to name, little pointing or sharing, delayed words, or reduced back-and-forth play — if so, arrange a developmental check.
In everyday life
Hold a favourite toy, bubble wand or snack near your eyes during play, get down to your child's level, and celebrate every glance — never turn or hold the chin.
Bring your observations and questions to your child’s professional. Choose activities that suit your child’s comfort, abilities and agreed plan.
Bring your questions to a first visitQuestions families ask
Should I tell my child to "look at me"?
It's best not to make eye contact a command. Forcing or demanding looking can feel uncomfortable and teaches a child that your face is something to avoid. Instead, make looking naturally rewarding — get face-to-face, join their play, and pair your face with things they enjoy so a glance brings delight.
My child connects well but rarely makes eye contact — is that a problem?
Not necessarily. Some children connect beautifully through side-by-side play, shared smiles and back-and-forth games while finding direct eye contact overwhelming. Comfortable, meaningful connection matters more than constant looking. If reduced eye contact pairs with delayed words or little sharing, a developmental check helps.
When should I seek a developmental check about eye contact?
Arrange a check if reduced eye contact comes alongside limited response to their name, little pointing or showing, delayed speech, or reduced back-and-forth play. This is about understanding how your child connects so support can begin early if needed — never about labelling.
FOLLOW THE SOURCE
References behind this answer.
- Source referenceCDC developmental milestones
- Organisation website · further readingAAP HealthyChildren.org
- Organisation website · further readingASHA early social communication
References are supplied with this answer. An organisation homepage offers further reading; it does not establish an independent review of this page.
Content attribution: SETU Consortium · Pinnacle Blooms Network.
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General information supports a conversation with an appropriately qualified professional. Advice, goals and support depend on the individual child.