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How to Teach Your Child to Share and Take Turns
Children learn to share and take turns gradually, and toddlers naturally find it hard. Teach it through playful turn-taking games, modelling, simple predictable language and praising effort — never forcing. AbilityScore® is part of Pinnacle’s developmental assessment. Diagnosis, where needed, requires an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.
In this answer 5 sections
Sharing isn't a rule you enforce — it's a skill your child grows into, one happy turn at a time.
In short
Children learn to share and take turns gradually, and it is completely normal for toddlers to find it hard — the brain skills behind waiting, considering others and managing disappointment are still developing well into the early school years. You teach it best not through scolding, but through playful turn-taking games, gentle modelling, simple language and lots of praise when your child does wait or give. With patient, repeated practice woven into everyday play, sharing slowly becomes natural.
How to teach it, step by step
- Start with turn-taking, not sharing. Turn-taking ("my turn… now your turn") is easier than giving something up. Roll a ball back and forth, stack blocks one each, or use a timer so a turn has a clear, fair end.
- Model it out loud. Children copy what they see. Narrate your own sharing — "I'll give you half my biscuit" — so the idea becomes ordinary and warm.
- Use simple, predictable words. Short phrases like "You can have it when the timer beeps" reduce frustration because your child knows the wait will end.
- Praise the effort, not just the outcome. "You waited so well!" or "That was kind to share" teaches your child that the behaviour feels good and gets noticed.
- Don't force it — coach it. Snatching a toy back to "make" them share teaches little. Instead, acknowledge the feeling ("It's hard to wait") and offer a fair next turn.
- Keep favourite items separate. It's fair to let a child keep one or two special things private; this actually makes sharing other toys easier.
- Match the expectation to the age. Toddlers manage brief turns; sharing freely and understanding fairness grow over the preschool and early school years.
When a gentle check helps
Sharing struggles are usually just part of growing up. But it's worth a developmental check if your child finds all waiting and frustration overwhelming far beyond their peers, struggles to play alongside other children, has very limited back-and-forth communication, or if turn-taking difficulties come with delays in talking, understanding or connecting with others.
The Pinnacle way
AbilityScore® is part of Pinnacle’s developmental assessment. Diagnosis, where needed, requires an appropriately qualified healthcare professional — never from an app or checklist. If you'd like reassurance or a fuller picture of your child's social and communication development, our clinician-administered AbilityScore® profile maps these everyday skills precisely, and behavioural and play-based therapy can build turn-taking through structured fun. Explore more family support at Pinnacle Blooms Network.
Trusted sources
American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org) guidance on social development, sharing and play in early childhood; CDC developmental milestones on social and emotional skills.
Next step — Want playful, age-right ways to grow your child's social skills? Book a developmental check with a Pinnacle clinician.
This is general information, not a diagnosis — individual assessment and diagnosis require an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.
CONNECT THE ANSWER TO YOUR CHILD’S DAY
Something to notice. Something to discuss.
What to notice
Watch for difficulty with all waiting and frustration far beyond peers, trouble playing alongside other children, very limited back-and-forth communication, or turn-taking struggles paired with delays in talking, understanding or connecting.
In everyday life
Make turn-taking a game: roll a ball back and forth saying "my turn… your turn", and use a timer so your child knows exactly when a wait will end.
Bring your observations and questions to your child’s professional. Choose activities that suit your child’s comfort, abilities and agreed plan.
Bring your questions to a first visitQuestions families ask
At what age should my child be able to share?
Sharing develops gradually. Toddlers can manage brief turns with help, while sharing freely and understanding fairness grow across the preschool and early school years. It's completely normal for young children to find it hard.
Is it okay if my child refuses to share?
Yes — refusing to share is a normal part of early development. Forcing it rarely helps. Instead, acknowledge the feeling, coach turn-taking, and praise small successes. It's also fair to let a child keep one or two special items private.
How can I practise sharing at home?
Use everyday play: roll a ball back and forth, take turns stacking blocks, or use a timer for a fair turn. Model sharing yourself and praise your child warmly whenever they wait or give.
When should I seek a developmental check?
Consider a check if your child finds all waiting overwhelming far beyond peers, struggles to play alongside others, shows very limited back-and-forth communication, or has wider delays in talking, understanding or connecting.
FOLLOW THE SOURCE
References behind this answer.
- Organisation website · further readingAAP HealthyChildren.org — social development and sharing in early childhood
- Source referenceCDC — social and emotional developmental milestones
References are supplied with this answer. An organisation homepage offers further reading; it does not establish an independent review of this page.
Content attribution: SETU Consortium · Pinnacle Blooms Network.
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