{"h1":"My child struggles to make friends — should I be worried?","faq":[{"a":"Yes — younger children often play *alongside* other children (called parallel play) rather than truly *with* them, and this is completely typical. Cooperative, shared play develops gradually over the early years, so playing near rather than with friends at a young age is usually nothing to worry about.","q":"Is it normal for a young child to play alone rather than with others?"},{"a":"Not at all. Shyness or introversion is a personality style — many shy children prefer one close friend to a big group and are perfectly happy. A social difficulty worth checking is one that causes your child distress or loneliness, lasts for months, and appears across many settings.","q":"My child is just shy — is that the same as a social difficulty?"},{"a":"Consider a check when the difficulty is lasting, causes sadness or frequent conflict, shows up at home, school and with family alike, or comes with other observations such as delayed speech, limited eye contact, difficulty with back-and-forth conversation or attention. A check brings clarity and, where needed, a clear, strengths-based plan.","q":"When should I seek a developmental check about friendships?"}],"lang":"en","slug":"my-child-struggles-to-make-friends-should-i-be-worried","title":"My child struggles to make friends — should I be worried?","entity":{"key":"01b5f49eb675","kind":"symptom","name":"struggles to make friends","slug":null},"lenses":[{"kind":"stakeholder","label":"Parent","value":"parent"},{"kind":"domain","label":"Social","value":"social"},{"kind":"intent","label":"Support","value":"support"},{"kind":"lifecycle","label":"Screen","value":"screen"},{"kind":"route","label":"Book-Assessment","value":"book-assessment"},{"kind":"empowerment","label":"Early Clarity","value":"early_clarity"}],"parent":{"key":"conditions","label":"Conditions"},"related":[{"lang":"en","slug":"how-can-i-help-my-child-make-friends","title":"How can I help my child make friends?"},{"lang":"en","slug":"how-do-i-help-my-child-make-friends-and-fit-in-at-school","title":"How do I help my child make friends and fit in at school?"},{"lang":"en","slug":"what-does-it-mean-if-my-child-struggles-to-make-friends","title":"What does it mean if my child struggles to make friends?"},{"lang":"en","slug":"could-difficulty-with-friendship-skills-be-a-sign-of-a-developmental-delay","title":"Could Difficulty With Friendship Skills Be a Sign of Developmental Delay?"},{"lang":"en","slug":"how-do-i-help-my-child-make-friends","title":"How do I help my child make friends?"},{"lang":"en","slug":"what-should-i-do-if-my-child-struggles-to-make-friends","title":"What should I do if my child struggles to make friends?"}],"summary":"Struggling to make friends is common and rarely alarming on its own — many children are simply shy or still learning the skills of play and turn-taking. Consider a developmental check when the difficulty is persistent, causes real distress or loneliness, appears across settings, or sits alongside differences in speech, attention or social communication. AbilityScore® is part of Pinnacle’s developmental assessment. Diagnosis, where needed, requires an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.","answer_md":"*When your child stands at the edge of the playground while others play, it tugs at every parent's heart — and the good news is that friendship is a set of skills, and skills can be gently grown.*\n\n## In short\nStruggling to make friends is **common, and on its own it is rarely a cause for alarm** — many children are simply shy, slower to warm up, or still learning the give-and-take of play. It becomes worth a closer look when the difficulty is persistent, causes your child real distress or loneliness, or sits alongside other things you've noticed in their communication, play or behaviour. Most children build social confidence beautifully with warm support and a little practice.\n\n## What's usually going on\nFriendship is not a single ability — it's a bundle of developing skills: reading faces and tone, taking turns, sharing, managing big feelings, and joining a game without taking it over. Children develop these at very different paces.\n- **Temperament** — some children are naturally shy or introverted and prefer one close friend to a big group. This is a personality, not a problem.\n- **A new or changing setting** — starting school, moving home, or a new language environment can make any child hold back for a while.\n- **Still-developing skills** — turn-taking, sharing and handling losing a game come gradually; younger children often play *alongside* rather than *with* others, which is completely typical.\n- **Underlying differences** — sometimes social difficulty travels with delays in speech, attention, or social communication. This is where a gentle check can give you clarity.\n\nNotice *how* your child struggles. A child who **wants** friends but doesn't quite know how is in a different place from one who seems uninterested in others — and both are worth understanding warmly, not anxiously.\n\n## When a check is worth it\nConsider a developmental check when the difficulty is lasting (months, not weeks), causes your child sadness or frequent conflict, appears across many settings (home, school, family), or comes with other observations — limited eye contact, delayed or unusual speech, difficulty with back-and-forth conversation, intense distress at change, or trouble with attention. A check brings clarity and, where helpful, a clear plan — never a label for its own sake.\n\n## The Pinnacle way\nAbilityScore® is part of Pinnacle’s developmental assessment. Diagnosis, where needed, requires an appropriately qualified healthcare professional — never from an app or an online form. Through our [structured clinician assessment](/ask/what-is-the-abilityscore-and-how-is-it-calculated) we map your child's social communication and play, then shape support — often through [behavioural therapy](/behavioural-therapy) and social-skills groups — to your child's real strengths. You can learn more about how we support families [here](/).\n\n## Trusted sources\nAmerican Academy of Pediatrics family guidance on social and emotional development (HealthyChildren.org); CDC developmental milestones for social play and interaction; ASHA guidance on social communication.\n\n**Next step —** Want clarity on your child's social confidence? [Book a developmental assessment with a Pinnacle clinician](/behavioural-therapy).\n\nThis is general information, not a diagnosis — individual assessment and diagnosis require an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.","canonical":"https://pinnacleblooms.org/ask/my-child-struggles-to-make-friends-should-i-be-worried","editorial":{"reviewed_at":"2026-06-11T20:12:18.613642+00:00","reviewed_by":null,"developed_by":"SETU Consortium · Pinnacle Blooms Network"},"alternates":[{"href":"https://pinnacleblooms.org/ask/my-child-struggles-to-make-friends-should-i-be-worried","lang":"en","indexable":true}],"dimensions":[{"key":"conditions","label":"Conditions"}],"meta_title":"Child Struggles To Make Friends: Should You Worry?","meta_robots":"index, follow, max-image-preview:large","everyday_tip":"Set up short, low-pressure playdates with just one child and a shared activity your child enjoys — a puzzle, building blocks, a simple game. One-to-one, structured play builds friendship skills far more gently than a noisy group.","published_at":"2026-06-10T15:24:00.165577+00:00","reading_paths":[{"key":"signs","items":[{"lang":"en","slug":"could-difficulty-with-friendship-skills-be-a-sign-of-a-developmental-delay","title":"Could Difficulty With Friendship Skills Be a Sign of Developmental Delay?","reason":"Linked from this answer"}],"label":"Recognise signs & concerns","total":1},{"key":"therapy","items":[{"lang":"en","slug":"what-does-it-mean-if-my-child-struggles-to-make-friends","title":"What does it mean if my child struggles to make friends?","reason":"Linked from this answer"},{"lang":"en","slug":"what-should-i-do-if-my-child-struggles-to-make-friends","title":"What should I do if my child struggles to make friends?","reason":"Linked from this answer"},{"lang":"en","slug":"how-do-i-help-my-child-make-friends","title":"How do I help my child make friends?","reason":"Linked from this answer"},{"lang":"en","slug":"how-do-i-help-my-child-make-friends-and-fit-in-at-school","title":"How do I help my child make friends and fit in at school?","reason":"Linked from this answer"},{"lang":"en","slug":"how-can-i-help-my-child-make-friends","title":"How can I help my child make friends?","reason":"Linked from this answer"}],"label":"Explore therapy & support","total":5}],"what_to_watch":"Watch for difficulty that lasts months rather than weeks, causes your child sadness, loneliness or frequent conflict, appears across many settings, or comes alongside other signs — limited eye contact, delayed or unusual speech, trouble with back-and-forth conversation, intense distress at change, or attention difficulties.","authority_links":[{"url":"https://www.healthychildren.org","label":"AAP HealthyChildren — social and emotional development"},{"url":"https://www.cdc.gov/child-development","label":"CDC — developmental milestones for social play"},{"url":"https://www.asha.org","label":"ASHA — social communication"}],"last_reviewed_at":"2026-06-10T15:24:00.165577+00:00","meta_description":"Many children find friendships hard at first — usually it's shyness or still-developing skills. Learn what's typical and when a gentle developmental check ","related_materials":[],"related_techniques":[]}